The importance of looking after yourself

Having a baby involves a huge change to your lifestyle. Even if in the beginning your life carries on in a similar way to your life before baby at some point things will change.

It is very easy to feel resentful for having to give up the things that you enjoyed in your life before you had children. However, it doesn’t have to be this way and it shouldn’t.

From speaking to other mummies it is often women who take on the majority of the child care role. Part of this is down to the fact that following on from maternity leave it is often seen as easier to carry on doing the childcare as you know what to do and can complete the tasks quickly. There is also an element of not trusting that the baby will have what it needs if you are not in control of packing the baby bag and making their lunches, snacks etc.

This all leaves little or no time for yourself. You are often bottom of the list when it comes to taking care of your own needs. This is a recipe for disaster. You start resenting your partner for their relatively unchanged life while your life seems unrecognisable. You resent the baby for taking up all of your time and sapping you of all of your energy.

How do you stop feeling this way? The answer is simple. Make yourself a priority. Your wellbeing needs to come top of the list. I hear you laughing. I know it seems impossible but just hear me out.

Time for yourself doesn’t mean days spent at an expensive spa, although that would be heavenly. First of all you need to ensure that you are meeting your basic needs of going to the toilet, drinking enough and eating well. If these basic needs aren’t met you aren’t going to be able to look after anyone else and are going to end up an exhausted wreck. Take offers of help. If someone offers to cook you a dinner, do the washing, ironing etc. take them up on the offer. It’s not a sign of failure; it’s a sign of strength. You are not super woman and cannot do everything yourself so don’t kill yourself trying.

Once these essential physical needs are met you then need to look at caring for your mental wellbeing. Again this is an essential not a luxury. Having some time to yourself is essential to recharge your batteries and feel human again and in a position to care for others. It may be a bubble bath or reading a chapter of a book or painting your nails. Maybe if it is a sunny day it may be enjoying a cup of tea in the garden.

If you take these small steps to look after yourself you will be able to handle the demands of caring for a baby, toddler or child.

Once you are in a better place yourself the things that drove you mad before won’t bother you as much. When you aren’t so drained you are able to focus on all of the wonderful things in your life.

I challenge you to make yourself a priority this week and enjoy the changes it brings.