Poonami and bowling

My son had cried uncontrollably for half an hour whilst on our way to see friends and go bowling. Being trapped in a car with a screaming child is no fun at all. Unfortunately there are worse things to be trapped in a car with as I was about to find out.

The smell was the first thing to hit me. The inside of my nose throbbed. The smell was so pungent that it burnt all of the hairs lining the inside of my nose. My eyes immediately began to water. Wow I had never smelt anything so bad in all my life.

I have smelt some truly awful things in my life, near the top of the list would have to be the time that I decided I would like to take up gardening. After a few weeks I quickly discovered that an army of slugs and snails were also enjoying my new hobby. In a bid to get rid of the slugs and snails without using nasty chemicals I stumbled across a great idea on the internet to make a homemade slug trap utilising beer and an old ice cream tub. However, I don’t think the intention was to forget about the trap and stumble across it after a few weeks once all of the slugs and snails had started to rot whilst still floating in the beer. The smell of unearthing that delight was pretty awful but paled into insignificance next to what I was experiencing now.

Like dogs, we threw open the windows and stuck our heads out gasping for fresh air. Thankfully, we were right around the corner from bowling and would be able to escape imminently.

We parked the car and jumped out. Panting and still gasping for breath we looked across the roof of the car at each other. What is that? My husband asked. Honestly, the fact that there was an almighty rumble erupting from the back seat, coupled with the fact my son had stopped crying at precisely the exact moment that the smell appeared… surely it was obvious what it was. But apparently not. With a shaky voice I whispered that it was our son. His face dropped as he realised that we would shortly be unwrapping his nappy and cleaning him up whilst locked in a very small changing room with no windows.

As we opened the back door and twisted his very expensive rotating car seat towards us we could already see that this was a poonami poo. There was clearly poo on his car seat. Like a scene out of the lion king my husband scooped up my son and suspended him at arm’s length. Poo was still dripping down his legs. I grabbed a muslin and wrapped it around the lower part of his body. And it was like this, that we hobbled into the bowling centre and thankfully straight into the empty baby changing room. It took half an hour to clear everything up. As we were trying to undress him we were unintentionally spreading more poo around previously clean parts of his body.

Luckily, there were two of us. Thank goodness we were both there as this was definitely a two man job. Really this was a lot more than a two man job but no one in their right mind was going to volunteer to help.

Finally we emerged victorious with a clean baby.

A little nagging feeling was poking at the edge of my mind. Haven’t you forgotten something it was saying. The car seat! Armed with a packet of baby wipes I rushed back out to the car and scooped and scrubbed as best as I could. There was nothing else I could do so we relaxed enjoyed bowling and discussed how life changes once you have a baby.

When it was home time we put another clean muslin cloth into his car seat as a liner and drove home with all of the windows open. Thankfully paying all that money for a fancy car seat meant that the designers had thoughtfully made all of the covers removable and machine washable. Whoopee.

Always a silver lining in every situation, sometimes you just have to look a little harder for it.

Oh and if you are wondering why this poonami was so stinky it is because this was a tooth poo poonami. More on that in another post.

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