Supermarket shopping with little people

I know just from the title you already feel for me and know that this is going to be another entertaining story (at least for you, I’m still coming to terms with it.)

Very early on, as in about week 3 of having my first child I realised while trying to push a trolley around with one hand and holding and feeding a new-born with the other (growth spurt day) that shopping for a full weekly shop with a baby was pretty impossible. That’s when I decided that I needed to do my main weekly shop online. I still popped out to the local shops most days but that was only to pick up one or two items and I always had the option to abandon the trip if we were having a meltdown etc.

This was working out really well for me, until I discovered my love for Aldi.

Sadly they do not yet deliver food, only special buys although I am praying really hard and hope that one day my prayers will be answered. I even recently filled out on an Ocado feedback form that my shop could be improved if they started to deliver Aldi food as well. Well they now do Morrisons food. It’s not that improbable. A girl can hope. What’s life without hope?

I love a bargain. I’m talking about a true bargain, not buying a top because it’s so cheap but actually you don’t like it, never wear it and therefore it wasn’t a bargain it was just a waste of money. No. I love something that is cheap and actually passes the taste test/preforms. I love cooking for friends and hearing them comment on how wonderful something was and enquiring where it is from and being able to reply with Aldi. This is even more fun with Snobby friends/ acquaintances who would never be seen dead in Aldi!

Anyway my love of Aldi is how I ended up there today with two little people in tow.

I don’t know about you but personally the success of any trip when leaving the house requires meticulous planning down to the last detail and I get quite panicky if I have to diverge from said plan. Fail to plan and you plan to fail isn’t a saying for no reason.

The tried and successful formula for me embarking on a supermarket trip always starts with my son having a wee before we leave home or at least tying for a wee. However, on this occasion he informs me that he had a thousand wees at nursery and doesn’t have a single drop left in him and couldn’t possibly squeeze anymore out and therefore it’s a waste of time to even try. Especially as all of the other shoppers may buy up all the best bits before we get there. Dun dun dun he adds for emphasis. Yes, he really does speak like that!

I am already slightly unnerved as try as I might there was no way he was getting on that toilet. I had reached the point (one I am now very good at recognising) where any further pushing would result in a full on meltdown. So we got in the car and set out on our mission to secure tasty bargains.

Once again I was looking like a mother who knew exactly what she was doing. The littlest one was in the seat of the trolley happily pointing to and calling out all of the names of the fruits and vegetables. My son was asking if we could buy Strawberries and Broccoli as they are his favourite. The other shoppers are oblivious to the fact that they are currently about the only healthy items he eats. Win, they are making me look good. Thank you babies.

Then this shrill voice cuts through my ‘perfect family daydream’ with… Quick, I need a wee.

Seriously? I am always right. I knew he would need a wee. I haven’t got the ‘you must wee before leaving the house’ item on the checklist for no reason. Grrrr.

I abandon the trolley with the shopping, used snotty tissues, jumpers and toys and run with both of them to the toilet. I instruct the little one not to touch anything. Pointless, she’s crawling around licking the floor. Then get him on the toilet just in time. Phew we made it. Sterilise the little one and we are ready to hopefully go and recover the trolley.

Excellent the trolley is still there. Maybe this won’t turn out so badly after all.

Hello? Do you know your own children?

As we approach the trolley the youngest gives a very firm, don’t mess with me, “NO!”

I wonder where she learnt that from?

“No trolley. Walking Mummy.” She informs me.

I explain that it will be quicker if she rides and then when we get home we will have more time to play. Like she has any concept of time.

“NO. I hold on, be safe.” comes the reply.

As I reach out an arm to scoop her up she braces herself to scream.

“Ok” I agree “but you must hold on otherwise you are straight back in the trolley.”

“Ok Mummy” she beams back.

This lasted for all of two minutes until she turned to me and said “Run” and took off.

My son who is a stickler for following the rules instantly shouts “no come back, mummy said hold on to the trolley” and attempts to run after her.

I stop him and call out well we are going this way and you are going to get lost as we near a corner. He hasn’t quite cottoned on to the fact that I wouldn’t actually leave her and starts wailing that he loves his sister and doesn’t want her to get lost as he would miss her. It does have the desired effect on the little one though and she pauses, thinks for a second and scampers back and holds on exclaiming “I hold on, be safe.”

Good. Order is restored and we continue the shop. I stop to pick up stuffing and they are on a fruit hunting mission for nanny a few steps ahead.

As I turn around the little one is offering up a bag of flour to me saying “Mummy want this?”

Unfortunately, she picked up a bag of flour with a gaping hole in the bottom. Just like a cartoon there was a small white trail leading from the shelf to my feet where it was now building up into quite a large mound.

“No” I shout and make a grab for the flour. Sadly this startles her and causes her to squeeze the bag harder and results in even more flour going on to the floor. I snatch up the flour and turn it upside down and promptly return it to the shelf. At this moment a wonderful Aldi worker comes along and says “oh dear” and promptly rushes to get a broom. My little one is not pleased that the flour was taken off of her and is just about to throw herself onto the floor in protest. I scoop her up saying that she will have to apologise to the poor lady who now has to clean it up. She calls out at the top of her voice “sorry lady” sounding like a Victorian cockney street urchin further adding to my embarrassment.

Once wrestled into the trolley we went over to apologise properly to the lady. Who smiled and thankfully said “at least it’s an easy one to clean up.” I could have kissed her. In that moment she made everything alright. If she had been grumpy I think I may have been the one throwing myself to the floor screaming that it isn’t fair.

I pushed the trolley away to the checkout wrestling the eggs out of the little ones hands. Turns out, the trolley wasn’t such a safe place either. I looked at my little ghost toddler completely covered in white powder. Then I glanced down at myself wearing a fancy dress as I had attended a meeting earlier that morning and a small smile started twitching in the corners of my mouth. No one had died and actually although it wasn’t very funny at that exact moment I knew that when I looked back on this with the passage of time it would be.

I think that wearing my fancy dress saved me. Had I been wearing jeans and a t-shirt, normal shopping mummy attire, it would have been more depressing. But a fancy dress covered in flour in a budget supermarket… you know that has the trade mark sound of a top comedian’s joke.

I proudly walked out with my head held high laughing on the inside at the looks my ghost child and I were acquiring as we walked to the car. I should probably add that the shop is on a big retail park and I always park the car miles away right at the furthest edge of the car park so that I stand a chance of being able to open the doors and pack the kids into their car seats without dislocating any limbs.

Earlier this evening as I looked down and still saw the faint traces of flour on my dress I knew that this experience was going to be a funny/good one… eventually.

#supermarketshopping #shopping #aldi #trolley #accidentsatashop #shop #weeklyshop #babiesandshopping