10 ways to help a new mum checklist

Being a parent for the first time can hit you like a sledge hammer. There is sleep deprivation, a tiny human who needs a thousand feeds and nappy changes a day, a constant stream of well-wishers turning up at your door. It’s exhausting. Below are my top tips on how to not only ensure that you don’t add to the burden but actually help mum to truly lighten the load.

1. Take them a hot meal at dinner time with no expectation to stay and share it. Just deliver and go.

2. Knock and offer to take the baby for a walk even if it is just for 20 minutes. Unless you have had a baby you have no idea how amazing it feels to just have a few minutes of guaranteed peace and quiet where you know you won’t suddenly be called back on duty.

3. Hold the baby while mum has a shower. Again like the point above it is nice to know that you can have a proper wash without having to cut it short (normally the second you have applied the shampoo to your hair) because you can’t stand to hear the screaming for a second longer. Pesky hormones.

4. Take a load of washing/ironing home and deliver them back when clean, dry and ironed.

5. Walk baby while mum gets her nails or hair done. Doing small things like this for yourself has such a big impact on your emotional wellbeing when you are a new mum.

6. Clean her house yourself or book a cleaner for a one off clean if you think your friend wouldn’t feel comfortable with you seeing their house up close.

7. Ask if they want any shopping picked up when you get your shopping/ before popping over.

8. Take mum magazines and a tasty treat. Okay so this one won't actually lighten the load but it feels amazing to know that someone cares and is thinking of you. Also by doing this you are reinforcing the message that it is important that mum has some me time and looks after herself.

9. Never stay more than half an hour when meeting baby for the first time unless you are doing jobs/ holding the baby while mum does other things.

10. Don’t pressure mum to meet baby. Explain that you are overjoyed that baby has been born and that although you are desperate to see baby you don’t want to add any additional pressure and intrude on special bonding time.

When performing any of the above bare in mind that sometimes mum might appreciate a bit of adult company and other times she may just like you to carry out the task and leave depending on her mood on the day. Or maybe she just wants to sit in a comfortable silence with you, without the expectation of having to make coherent conversation. Don’t get offended if mum is feeling like this. It’s not personal she may just not be up to chatting that day. Parenting is an emotional rollercoaster.

#newmum #parenting #helpinganewmum #helping #visitors